Amissa Iuuentute

By: Deer OnMoon

This is a letter for my far most beloved boy.
If I fatally agree upon a fantastically staged relationship with another boy. To mend my weak and longing heart, I beg of you to come and take it back for it will always be yours.

Remember as real as it may seem my emotions will be nothing but unforgiving lies to an unfortunate soul whom I will be endlessly sorry for.

Now this information is far most confidential intended to bring me back to my senses if occurred the stated above.

Also I include my ultimate oldest friend who will agree with my decision and assist you if needed. In any case her and the boy will meet only to discuss the details of my “cure”.

The nights I cry become just regular. 

And the night I dont become a gift.

There fewer nights that I dont blackout, 

than the nights I delete my memories.

I keep trying to forget you but the drinking cant go that far back.

The day where I was yours,

will always haunt me thats a fact.

I love you endless , I love you whole.

I miss you crazy, I miss you all.

And I keep breaking your heart. 

I had you once, I had you twice.

I had you…

and my eyes still cry.

Ill never know how to be alone.

I need always something to keep in control.

The day I drink in my solitude,

I know ,

Id like to sleep forever


wake up in your arms.

You can choose.

I still love you.

And I still break your heart every time Im left alone.


My men always toy,

they will always be children.

And they play.

With you and me.

The older you get the harder it is to find love. 

Everyone already has someone, and you become just timeless distractions in their lives.

Youth is not to be wasted in dreams and hopes of a future. 

Take every smile you provoke and write it down. 

The older you get these smiles are all thats left.

And your heart will grow weak and fall for anyone that makes you laugh.

You begin to lie, 

People wont open up to you like they use to.

Because the older you get,

you lose trust.

And I know this feeling now. 

And Im scared of ending up alone.

I dont think you will ever fully undestand the way you broke me. I dont think you will ever see the way you took my nights. You own my sleep forever now. My will power fades away when I hear your name. And that smell , yours. It haunts me and it leaves me in daze.

i want to


  • be thin
  • give birth
  • cook for you
  • have long hair
  • wear makeup
  • have sex with you
  • be feminine
  • be graceful
  • shave
  • diet
  • be fashionable
  • wear pink
  • love men
  • be the media’s idea of perfection
  • listen to your bullshit
  • have a vagina

(Source: defendfeminism, via frostied)

I slowly start to blend the days into one, And I no longer can take the alcohol as I used to. The moon doesn’t answer me, and stars don’t grant wishes. Kisses seem forbidden, and I can not find you anymore. I

My bruises change colors,

in the most beautiful way.

Its a pain worth watching

as it fades away.

But how beautiful would it be ,

to look under my skin?

Into the heart,

and the silence as it beats.

How it cringes when I cry ,

and how it races when I laugh.

The biggest bruises being him.

My heart will stay purple ,

for as long as you feed

from the punches you throw me.

With those lies that you speak.





(Source: ensaymada)



I cant,
I dont want to.
I love you.
and I want you.
I place my palms together and pray.
Come back to me.
Without thinking.
Miss me,
Just like I miss you.
Beg me like I did.
Its your turn,